PRIVACY

There's no doubt about it I have a serious problem with public urinals. I've never been happy about standing there next to a complete stranger who is looking down at his penis! What I fear mostly is him not looking down at his but across at mine! It's just a quick glance I know but I SEE THEM LOOK! The problem might have started in my early twenties when I bought a pair of winkle-picker shoes from Carnaby Street. (V-shaped shoes)
Now these were not your average winkles. These were the most dagger-like shoes I'd ever seen. So I'm wearing my new shoes and I go into the public facilities and head fearlessly to the wall-splasher. Immediately a stranger pulls up next to me, looks across, then down, and says,
"And I thought mine were pointed!"
Immediately I froze. I had spent my last penny, perhaps for all time. Who the hell was this guy? I zipped up, walked out the door, when suddenly it dawned on me. He was talking about my shoes! Embarrassed and laughing hysterically I made my way home. From that moment on, if I had to use the public loo, I made a point of heading straight to the cubicles were I could bolt the door and feel safe. And the Americans call it a "Restroom". I ask you!